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The Bible commands us to control ourselves, whereas our human nature desires to control others (Titus ).

If left unchecked, our natural desires run roughshod over others.

Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn’t mean you only date one person ever. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification (becoming like God). If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp.

That would be awesome, but it’s not always realistic. If you are a Christian, God isn’t a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn’t even have God as a piece of the pie? Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling.

The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. Get to know yourself.” And as soon as the person you are dating smacks his or her gum the wrong way, you are out. I heard don’t have sex before marriage so much I actually believed getting to marriage a virgin was the only important thing. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. Don’t start dating without an assurance of God’s love for you and a solid understanding of the gospel.

Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose.

I understand that when dating, the physical boundaries are different (to a degree) for each relationship, but what are some ways to figure out what those physical boundaries should be? Physical boundaries are important before marriage: but they’re nowhere near the top priority.4) Purity is a virtue given by God, not achieved by you. It’s like when a kid puts his hand in your face and says, “I’m not touching you! I think if you search your heart on this, even without consulting God (which you should), then you know what’s best for you.

Personal boundaries help to limit our selfish inclination to control or manipulate others.

Likewise, boundaries protect us from those who have no self-control and who wish to control us.

I understand our need to stay “pure” and all the cultural stigma with impurity: but no one is really pure. I think you have a good idea of what you want for your kids.

Yes, we can fight for it, but no, it is not a grade of your human value or identity.5) You already know your physical boundaries. You know at which point you become a mindless monster. You know that if you cross a certain line before marriage, the relationship can change into an impersonal, flesh-dumping receptacle.




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